The Myth of the Perfect Mom (How to Reduce Self-Doubt and Raise Your Self-Esteem)

Back to Blog   Posted:   November 29, 2020 by

Hi Momma, I wrote this for you, the mom in all of us that compares herself to the mom on the other end of whichever various social media platform we are endlessly scrolling through at the moment, while we breastfeed, or distract, or gather, or discipline, or cry because our child did x, y, or z that day. I feel you. 

It seems (sometimes) like every other mom has their “stuff” together, except for you. I’m here to tell you that it is a total myth, and that in fact, you are the perfect mom already.

As mothers, we wear so many hats (or crowns, rather!). So, seriously, if you put your child’s pants on backwards today, please be happy with yourself that they are wearing pants at least! This is no biggie, for real. We get so much anxiety when we strive for perfectionism. And if we get one thing wrong, we tend to “all or nothing” the day, ruining the brief and special time we have as a mother of little ones.

Sometimes, the anxiety is too much. 

As a counselor for moms with postpartum anxiety, I have seen times when therapy was a must. Worry is natural for a mom. As mammals, we’re predispositioned to have levels of anxiety to force us into primal protection modes of our children. But, when you aren’t able to leave the house or engage in normal activities for endless lengths of time, or you withdraw from your loved ones, find yourself crying and sad most of the time, or think about hurting yourself or others, it’s time to seek counseling. This is what we’re here for. To remind you of that song inside you, your soul’s song, and to help you remember what a very, very special human you are. 

It’s easy to forget, as a mom, who you were before you had a baby. Your thoughts are clouded with simply making sure your child is healthy and safe and fed. And you might be second guessing every single decision. Leaving the house can be daunting too, just deciding what supplies to bring can have you running a million “what-if” scenarios in your head. 

Momma, you don’t have to be perfect. 

You are perfect already. Perfectly imperfect and absolutely beautiful and loving and amazing and incredible (in case no one’s told you yet today, there it is!). 

And please, if you have been experiencing tremendous anxiety or sadness after having a baby, or even in the first few years of your child’s life, consider thinking about finding a counselor that specializes in perinatal counseling for postpartum depression and anxiety. At our therapy practice in Denver, Colorado, Soul Song Counseling, we treat mothers who want to find the light again in life. Please reach out for a complimentary consultation. 

Becca Hart


Pregnancy/Prenatal, Postpartum, Anxiety, Highly Sensitive Person


Washington Park